Randomness!
by Ivanna Sedai
Summary: Marth and Roy are in a spaceship w/ Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli. Link is trapped on Europa. Random things happen, including much talk about ghost zombie vampire hessians. And Roy sings.
1. Chaos in the French room

Hi! This is my first story, and I'm having trouble with the whole uploading and everything, so it may look weird. That's about it let the madness begin. Hopefully you find it funny.  
  
  
  
Chapt. 1-Chaos in the French Room (as well as Norman Rockwell and who exactly was the first president of the U.S.?)  
  
Link: Hi peoples  
  
  
  
Roy: Who you callin' peoples  
  
Link: You and Marth  
  
Roy: Marth doesn't count  
  
Marth: You're the one who doesn't count  
  
Roy: Shut up tiara boy  
  
Marth: Shut up yourself fire hair  
  
Link: Break it up  
  
Marth: Why?  
  
Roy: Elf in tights  
  
Link: No fair double-teaming  
  
Roy: I vote both of you off the island  
  
Marth: Huh? What are you talkin' about, we aren't on an island  
  
Roy: You know, Survivor  
  
Marth: Oh yeah that show with Norman Rockwell  
  
Link: What are you talking about  
  
Marth: Isn't Survivor that show where Norman Rockwell tells the contestants the answer to a question and they have to say the question. You know like "he was the 1st president of the U.S." and they would say "who is Paul Revere"  
  
Link: That's Jeopardy you moron  
  
Roy: And the first president of the U.S. was Julius Caesar  
  
Link: No, it was Justin Timberlake  
  
Marth: Isn't Justin Timberlake some demented singer from N'sync  
  
Link: Oh yeah  
  
Roy: Then who's the president  
  
Marth: I dunno  
  
Roy: Then why'd you mention it in the first place  
  
Marth: I dunno  
  
Roy: Is that all you say  
  
Link: Of course 'cause he's a moron  
  
Roy: I wasn't asking you  
  
Link: Then who were you asking  
  
Roy: Him  
  
Link: But if all he said was "dunno" he wouldn't be able to give you a straight answer anyway  
  
Roy: Does he ever give a straight answer? And besides that's logic and I don't believe in it  
  
Marth: Shut up both of you  
  
Roy: So you do say something other then dunno  
  
Marth: No really?  
  
Link: Why didn't you say something before  
  
Marth: Dunno  
  
Link/Roy: Agh!!!  
  
Marth: Shut up  
  
Link: I just thought I'd let you know that Pikachu's being hunted down by Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli  
  
Marth: Why would we need to know that  
  
Link: 'Cause they think Pikachu's in here  
  
Roy: So that's who's knocking the door down with a battering ram  
  
Link/Roy/Marth: Evacuate!! Out the window  
  
(All jump out the window, with a few problems, namely they forgot to open the window and when they did open it all tried to get out at the same time, and Roy fell into a puddle under the window) 


	2. Crazed Things

Ok then, I forgot to have a disclaimer last time, so here goes:  
  
I DON'T OWN ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER, THE CHAPTER BEFORE IT, OR THE REST OF THE STORY. THIS INCLUDES, BUT IS NOT NESSASARILY LIMITED TO SUPER SMASH BROTHERS, LORD OF THE RINGS, JEPARDY, AND SURVIVOR.  
  
This is for the two people who reviewed, thank you I love you. Now, let it begin.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapt. 2-Crazed Things (including the destruction of a perfectly innocent I Mac and what really happened to Boromir)  
  
(Marth, Roy, and Link are looking in the window at Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli)  
  
Link: What in the world are they doing  
  
Roy: Over turning tables, looking through drawers knocking completely random objects over *wince* there goes the computer  
  
Marth: Why are they doing that  
  
Link: Dunno  
  
Roy: Oh no not you to! The evil "dunno" saying aliens from some obscure and completely random planet on the outer reaches of the known universe have struck again!  
  
Link: Oh shut up  
  
Roy: It's a virus! Contagious! (Starts running around in circles like a headless chicken) call the paramedics! 811! I mean 711! No it's 119! Wait! 911! That's it 911! (Starts hitting a nearby bush) alert the White House! Call the FBI! (Tries to climb up a nearby tree, but Marth hits him with a stick, momentarily knocking him unconscious)  
  
Link: Thank goodness that's over  
  
Marth: No kidding  
  
(Roy wakes up)  
  
Roy: Ugh.Die people.Uh I mean hi people  
  
Link: Knock him out again Marth, I liked it better when he was asleep  
  
(A small yellow object comes flying out the window, hitting Link on the head)  
  
Link: Ow.What's that  
  
(Pikachu goes hurling at high speeds towards Roy)  
  
Roy: Agh.gotcha little devil  
  
Marth: Roy get down  
  
(Roy ducks, barely missing being hit with an arrow)  
  
Roy: Hey watch it  
  
(Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli climb out the window)  
  
Aragorn: Hand over the Pikachu  
  
Roy: Sure you can have the little pest, but why do you want the thing  
  
Aragorn: It killed Boromir  
  
Link: Who  
  
Aragorn: Boromir son of Denethor, brother of Faramir, steward of Gondor  
  
Marth: Aw shut up already  
  
Link: Never heard of him  
  
Roy: Same here  
  
Gimli: Hey Aragorn wasn't Boromir killed by the orcs  
  
Aragorn: No you moron, you were there, watching it remember  
  
Legolas: Yeah it's Frodo, or who ever wrote that account of its fault  
  
Link: Hey now I remember, I read that  
  
Marth: Oh yeah that time while you were reading you wouldn't talk to every one for a month  
  
Roy: That was an awesome month! We didn't have to worry about hearing his stupidity!  
  
Marth: Unfortunately he finished it within the month  
  
Link: Hey that's not nice  
  
Marth: It wasn't supposed to be  
  
Gimli: Will you all shut up  
  
Marth: Shut up yourself shorty  
  
Aragorn: It's getting away  
  
Roy: Get it alive  
  
Legolas: I thought you didn't like it  
  
Roy: I don't, but if we catch it we can torture it  
  
Legolas: Good point  
  
Link: Stop talking and catch the stupid thing  
  
(Pikachu is running around in circles like a headless chicken. Everyone is running around after it so they're all running around like headless chickens trying to catch it. Soon however Pikachu's insane running around in circle causes it to crash into a tree, Roy, following close behind, crashes too.)  
  
Roy (dazedly): I caught it 


	3. The brutal torment and torture of a smal...

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING RELATED TO NINTENDO OR LORD OF THE RINGS.  
  
Happiness! I got reviews! And to ProdigiousLi I think your story is really funny, and to everyone else who reviewed I'm gonna try to read your stories as well. Anyway here goes chapter three!  
  
The Brutal Torment and Torture of a Small Yellow Object (And Aragorn's Amazing Stew of death)  
  
Marth: Roy you squished it into the tree  
  
Gimli: Then we must extract it  
  
Legolas: While causing it as much pain as possible  
  
Link: Who Roy or the dumb thing  
  
Aragorn: What's the difference  
  
Marth: If I had my way, both  
  
Roy: Think you could? Just try it  
  
Marth: Oh Mr. Tough Guy, more like Mr. Game & Watch  
  
Roy: At least he doesn't wear a girly hair ornament  
  
Marth: It's a crown you numbskull  
  
Roy: Tiara  
  
Marth: Shut up  
  
Roy: Why  
  
Link: Will you both shut up and give my ears a rest  
  
Marth: No, and besides we're not talking loudly, your ears are to big  
  
Link: And you have blue hair  
  
Marth: At least it not as long as what's-his-face over there  
  
Legolas: Hey! Who you callin' what's-his-face  
  
Roy: You obviously, and you do need a major hair cut  
  
Legolas: I wasn't asking you  
  
Roy: Why should that matter  
  
Aragorn: Hi  
  
Marth: Why'd you say that  
  
Aragorn: Felt like it  
  
Link: Once I felt an Octorok's intestine  
  
Roy: We really didn't need to know that  
  
Gimli: The small yellow object is still in that tree  
  
Aragorn: Leave it there to rot  
  
Link: Wouldn't you feel sorry for the tree  
  
Legolas: I mean it wouldn't want to live with *shudder* Pikachu any more then we do, trees have feelings to you know  
  
Roy: It's amazing! Link has found a fellow environmentalist who also happens to look like him!  
  
Link: Hey! I take that as an insult  
  
Legolas: I'm the one being insulted you moron  
  
(A slight moan from Pikachu diverts the group's attention)  
  
Marth: Back to our present problem  
  
Roy: It's amazing!  
  
Aragorn: What? Roy: No one has said "dunno" since we met Pikachu! It must be good luck! I know, I need a Pikachu foot  
  
Marth: Why?  
  
Roy: Well rabbits feet are good luck and Pikachu is a kind of demented rabbit so a Pikachu's foot must be good luck, and it would cause it pain  
  
Aragorn: Great, now how do we get it out of the tree?  
  
Gimli: Sharp pointy objects  
  
Link: I have a sword  
  
Marth: Me to  
  
Roy: Same here  
  
Aragorn: Me to  
  
Roy: No you say "me three"  
  
Aragorn: Why  
  
Roy: Marth said "me to"  
  
Aragorn: Whatever..  
  
Legolas: Any way, I have arrows  
  
Gimli: We could cut down the tree with my axe  
  
Legolas/Link: NO!!!!!  
  
Link: This tree happens to be a rare semi-coniferous redwood broad-leaf Antarctic palm tree with a rare coconut that looks and tastes just like a lawn gnome.  
  
Aragorn: How'd it get here  
  
Link: The seed came and it grew from the seed  
  
Roy: But how'd the seed get here  
  
Link: The same way all seeds get here  
  
Roy: Flew? From Antarctica?  
  
Link: Birds do. Whales swim  
  
Gimli: Are you implying that coconuts migrate?  
  
Link: No. Maybe a swallow brought it  
  
Marth: How could a swallow carry it? The coconuts' to heavy for it to maintain enough air speed velocity  
  
Link: Maybe two carried it  
  
Marth: How? With string?  
  
Gimli: Any way, how do we get the thing out of the tree  
  
Legolas: We can burn the entire thing down  
  
Roy: I can do that!  
  
(Roy uses his fire sword to burn the tree down, and in the process give pikachu a third degree burn)  
  
Aragorn: Hey look! Poison ivy!  
  
(Marth runs over and picks the poison ivy)  
  
Aragorn: That was a mistake  
  
Marth: Ow ow ow ow ow! itchy itchy itchy!  
  
Aragorn: Bring the victim  
  
Link: Got it  
  
(They roll Pikachu around in poison ivy with Roy's sword, which is also continuously, giving it burns)  
  
Roy: Lets' play soccer!  
  
Marth: Try to get a lot of penalty kicks.heheheheheheheheh  
  
(They play soccer. The teams are Marth, Roy and Link (the multi-colored pencil sharpeners) against Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli (the un-bleached all purpose flour). Pikachu of course is the ball.)  
  
Link (about half an hour later): It's still breathing  
  
Aragorn: It won't be after this hehehe  
  
(Aragorn throws the following items into a pot of boiling swamp water and sulfuric acid: a dead frog, the broken pieces of the I mac destroyed earlier, some pine needles, olive oil, a pinball, poison ivy, a kitchen sink, staples, stale doughnuts, an unsuspecting pedestrian, and the unsuspecting pedestrians dog)  
  
Aragorn: Pikachu's last meal.Mwhahahahahaha  
  
(Link, Roy, and Gimli hold Pikachu down while Aragorn, Marth, and Legolas force feed it)  
  
Gimli: I think it died  
  
Legolas: No kidding  
  
Marth: Your stating the obvious  
  
Gimli: What's wrong with that?  
  
Marth: It's annoying  
  
Legolas: And besides no one could survive after eating that  
  
Link: Wanna try it out on Roy  
  
Roy: Help!  
  
Aragorn: There's none left any way  
  
Marth: Darn  
  
Roy: Their all after me! Help! It's a conspiracy!  
  
Gimli: Shut up  
  
Roy: Why  
  
Marth: Because you're driving us all crazy  
  
Roy: Why  
  
Legolas: Because you won't shut up  
  
Roy: Why  
  
Aragorn: Actually I do have some left  
  
(Roy shuts up)  
  
Wow. A kinda plot. I'm really scared now. 


	4. Jelly doughnuts!

Marth: I'm bored  
  
  
  
Roy: Same here  
  
Link: Ditto  
  
Aragorn: Me to  
  
Legolas: Me three  
  
Gimli: Me four  
  
  
  
Marth: That was pointless  
  
Roy: Like most things you say  
  
Marth: No, I mean the rest of your comments, mine was perfectly legitimate  
  
Roy: You don't even know what legitimate means thanks to your limited vocabulary  
  
Marth: I do to, legitimate means smart and vocabulary is empty space in you head  
  
Roy: No legitimate means dumb and vocabulary is smartness  
  
Link: No isn't legitimate a type of monkey and vocabulary was the first president of the U.S.  
  
Aragorn: No legitimate was a boat that hit an ice burg and sunk and vocabulary is a type of animal that eats only meat  
  
Legolas: No legitimate is an Australian car company and vocabulary is a disease that fish get  
  
Gimli: No legitimate is a part of a plant cell and vocabulary is the Russian word for "Eleven year old bag of popcorn on the kitchen shelf"  
  
Aragorn: I know let's raise Boromir from the dead  
  
Roy: We need a jelly doughnut, a plastic flamingo, and a month old baked potato  
  
Link: What flavor jelly  
  
Marth: The best is grape  
  
Legolas: No, marmalade  
  
Link: Strawberry  
  
Roy: Raspberry  
  
Gimli: Cheese!  
  
Marth: Shut up  
  
Gimli: What do you have against cheese?  
  
Marth: Cheese was.  
  
Roy (interrupting): If only we had some potatoes  
  
Marth: Why do you say that  
  
Roy: I'm in spam?  
  
Marth: Shut up  
  
Roy: Whyyyyyyy  
  
Marth: I said so  
  
Link: Any way, what flavor of jelly are we using  
  
Roy: What ever they have at dunkin' donuts  
  
Aragorn: How do we get there  
  
Marth: We ski  
  
Gimli: How?  
  
Marth: We don't  
  
Gimli: Then why'd you say so  
  
Marth: Dunno  
  
Roy: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
Legolas: Roy! Breathe!  
  
Roy: oooooooooooooooooooooo *cough gasp* can't *gasp* breathe  
  
Link: That was smart  
  
Aragorn: Since it's July .er I mean April we obviously can't ski so how do we get there  
  
Roy: It's not April, it's March  
  
Gimli: No it's February  
  
Marth: June  
  
Link: October  
  
Legolas: No June  
  
Aragorn: Any one got a calendar?  
  
Roy: How would a calendar help  
  
Link: Hey wasn't calendar the first president of the U.S.?  
  
Marth: Yay! All of our problems are solved!  
  
Roy: How do we get there any way  
  
Legolas: We skateboard!  
  
(They skateboard with a few minor problems such as Roy tried to use it upside down, Link fell into a pond, Legolas broke his, Gimli kept hitting pedestrians, and no one knew the way there)  
  
Marth: We're finally here  
  
Link: Does any one have money  
  
All: No  
  
Aragorn: Then we will steal them  
  
Roy: I'll steal the doughnuts, you create a diversion  
  
(Everyone except Roy walk in and start performing the musical "Annie")  
  
Marth: Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow you're only a day away  
  
Link/Legolas: It's a hard knock life for us, it's a hard knock life for us  
  
Aragorn/Gimli: We are here to entertaiiiiiiiiiin youuuuuuu  
  
(All the staff run, Roy steals the doughnuts)  
  
Marth: Now we need a plastic flamingo  
  
Roy: Where do we get one?  
  
Link: Florida!  
  
Gimli: How do we get there  
  
Roy: We hitchhike  
  
(They hitchhike. Details are refined for public sanity)  
  
Roy: Now a flamingo  
  
Marth: There's one  
  
Aragorn: Oh no! Its' silicon  
  
All: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *gasp*  
  
Legolas: It must be genuine plastic  
  
Link: How 'bout that one then  
  
Marth: O. K.  
  
Gimli: Doesn't it have to be pink?  
  
Roy: Yeah  
  
Legolas: It's blue  
  
Roy: Just like Marth's hair  
  
  
  
Marth: At least I don't wear a headband  
  
Roy: I know, you wear a tiara  
  
Marth: I'll get you for that  
  
Roy: Oh yeah  
  
(Roy and Marth start to fight. Marth starts out with the dancing blade attack but Roy uses his counter, knocking him back a few feet. Roy goes in to throw him but Marth uses his dolphin slash and then an upward slash to knock him into the air. Roy lands a few feet away and charges up his flare blade. Marth advances forward, again using the dancing blade but Roy catches him on the tip of his sword with the flare blade. Roy moves in with his double edge dance and is able to land a few strikes before Marth hits him with an upward slash smash attack. Marth then grabs Roy and throws him. Roy lands and Marth attacks with slash but Roy gets him with blazer. To prevent them from killing each other though Link uses his advantage of projectile attacks to knock them both out.)  
  
Gimli: Um anyway I think we should find a pink flamingo  
  
Aragorn: There's one  
  
Gimli: It's authentic  
  
All (except Marth and Roy who haven't recovered yet): Yay!  
  
(Marth and Roy recover)  
  
Marth: Ow.what happened?  
  
Roy (Points to Link): You evil vermin  
  
Marth: You'll pay for that you little forest creature. I'll deal with Roy later cause you're goin' down now  
  
Roy: Oh yeah and elfy you better watch your back cause for once I'm on his side  
  
Link: You'll both pay for those insults, I've never been beat  
  
Roy: You might be able to defeat some pig faced desert man but you've never faced me  
  
Marth: Or me  
  
Link: Yeah you should be much easier  
  
(Link throws his boomerang at Roy but Marth comes up behind him and uses slash. Roy dodges the boomerang and starts to charge up his flare blade as Link hits Marth with his sword spin. Marth jumps up and swings Fachion, causing Link to jump back, right into The Sword of Seals. He is blasted into the ocean, which, luckily for him puts out the flames, but not before they give him some minor burns. He steps on to the shore and pulls out a bomb, which he hurls at the closest of the to swordsmen, Marth. Marth knocks it aside with his sword. Marth attacks with his dancing blade move but Link shoots him with the Hero's bow. Link sheathed the master sword and shot at Marth again. This time the arrow missed completely and Marth advanced on him. However he had forgotten Roy. As he stepped back Roy hit him repeatedly with double edge dance and then blazer, before steping aside to charge flare blade. He almost landed on the point of Fachion and all of his weapons and moves were rendered useless as the prince of Altea knocked him back into the air. Link came down, and this time Marth grabbed him and threw him into Roy's attack. Link was knocked into the air as Roy unleashed his most powerful attack on him. He went sailing into the sky, one mass of flame.)  
  
Link: Here I am, flying in the direction of Jupiter's moon Europa while on fire. I have such a great life.  
  
Roy: Wonder where he's gonna land  
  
Aragorn: In a galaxy far, far away?  
  
Marth: Dunno  
  
Roy: Oh no it's back! He's caught a chronic illness! Where's the nearest insane asylum!?  
  
Gimli: You're house  
  
Roy: They're all after me.  
  
Legolas: Now we need a month old baked potato  
  
Marth: Let's go home, bake a potato and wait  
  
(They hitch hike home. Again the details are kept in a locked safe for the public good.)  
  
Gimli: O.K. here's a potato, how do we bake it  
  
Marth: Put it in an oven  
  
Roy: And turn the oven on  
  
Legolas: And leave it there for an hour  
  
Aragorn: Then turn the oven off  
  
Marth: And leave it there for a month  
  
Gimli: Why'd you all just complete sentences for each other?  
  
Roy: We  
  
Aragorn: Felt  
  
Legolas: Like  
  
Marth: It  
  
Gimli: That was scary  
  
Aragorn: Like  
  
Roy: Brittany  
  
Marth: Spears  
  
Legolas: Dancing  
  
Gimli: You all have strange minds  
  
Roy: And  
  
Marth: So  
  
Legolas: Do  
  
Aragorn: You  
  
Gimli: O.K. you can stop it now  
  
Marth: Let's plat four square  
  
Aragorn: Let's play cards  
  
Legolas: Spit  
  
Roy: Yeah!  
  
(They play cards)  
  
Marth: Is it possible to play cards for a month?  
  
Gimli: No  
  
Roy: Hey look it's the ocarina of time  
  
Aragorn: What  
  
Marth: It has power over time  
  
Roy: And it's Link's  
  
(Marth plays the song of time)  
  
Aragorn: Now the potato's old enough  
  
(They throw everything in a pot)  
  
Legolas: Now we march around the pot and chant  
  
Marth: What do we chant?  
  
Legolas: It doesn't matter  
  
(They march around the pot)  
  
Gimli: I have cheese and an encyclopedia Britannica  
  
Legolas: Spongebob squarepants  
  
Marth: We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz  
  
Roy: I like to play with flyswatters  
  
Aragorn: Punch buggy blue, no punch back  
  
(They stop)  
  
Gimli: I don't think this is working  
  
Marth: New chants!  
  
(They march around the pot again)  
  
Gimli: I have a pet cactus named St. George  
  
Legolas: George Bush plays with trampolines  
  
Aragorn: Je suis un petite yougurt  
  
Marth (In a telemarketer voice): Every type of truck for every job!  
  
Roy: I tot I taw a puddy tat!  
  
(Boromir comes up)  
  
Boromir: Uh.? Hi?  
  
Aragorn: Yay!! We did it  
  
Boromir: Did what?  
  
Aragorn: Raised you from the dead!  
  
Boromir: Oh.  
  
Legolas: You need some sugar  
  
Roy: Do you have any?  
  
Boromir: No  
  
Marth: How can he not have sugar?  
  
Gimli: Before we got here we consumed all of the sugar in Gondor  
  
Aragorn: And found out about the philosophies of John Locke  
  
Legolas: "The people have an obligation to rebel if the ruler is a tyrant"  
  
Gimli: Or sugar high  
  
Boromir: I knew Minas Tirith should have stayed in the hands of the stewards!  
  
Roy: But John Locke never say's any thing about being sugar high  
  
Marth: Did they even have sugar in the 1600's?  
  
Roy: Of course they did  
  
Aragorn: Are you sure?  
  
Roy: In 1215 the English barons signed a document with the king saying "No one is above the law of sugar"  
  
Gimli: Yes, the famous "Magna Candy"  
  
Marth: And then the "American Sugar Revolution"  
  
Gimli: The king would not let the colonies have their fair share of sugar, and taxed them on what they did have  
  
Marth: So they had the famous "Sugar Party"  
  
Gimli: And generations of fish in Boston harbor were sugar high after that  
  
Roy: And after that was the "Sugar War"  
  
Gimli: When the United Sugar of America was fighting about slavery and unfair distribution of sugar  
  
Marth: Sugar has greatly influenced our history!  
  
(Boromir sneaks away)  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Aragorn: So they didn't have the right to overthrow me!  
  
Marth: Correct!  
  
Legolas: So we can go back and overthrow the democracy of Gandalf!  
  
Marth: Correct!  
  
Gimli: And eat all of their sugar!  
  
Marth: Correct!  
  
Roy: And then give some to me!  
  
Aragorn: Incorrect!  
  
Roy: Humph  
  
Legolas: Hey, what happened to Boromir  
  
Aragorn: Let's go see  
  
(They find Boromir in the woods with a plastic knife)  
  
Boromir: I will now rest peacefully with out a bunch of sugar high maniacs. Goodbye world. Goodbye my pet gold fish. Goodbye lasagna. Goodbye rabid dolphins, monkeys and elephants. Goodbye all people named Joe, Steve and Oinkelsmut. Goodbye my imaginary friend Dihsdo. Goodbye all the presidents of the republic of Gaedje. Goodbye little voices in my head and the purple people eater. Goodbye my house, my car, my big screen color TV with a DVD player, lots of cool movies like Shrek, Tomb Raider, Rush Hour 2, Legally Blonde, Harry Potter, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Star Wars, and the complete Looney Toons, Etc. Goodbye GCN, X-box, PS2, N64, PSX, Dreamcast, SNES, Genesis, Saturn, NES, Atari and Pong. Goodbye Air hockey table, indoor swimming pool, surround sound stereo. Goodbye Faramir and Denethor. (Boromir kills himself with the plastic knife)  
  
Roy: Who thinks we should rob Boromir's house?  
  
Everyone else: Me!  
  
Marth: Link is an expert thief  
  
Aragorn: Wait didn't you send him to Europa?  
  
Roy/Marth: Oh yeah.  
  
Legolas: Then we better rescue him  
  
Gimli: NASA, here we come Kraken: Next time! They go to Europa to get Link. Meet the alien creatures, and have a cooking match! Like in Iron Chef!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: Review! Or the angry zucchini mobs will get you! 


	5. Evil Ghost Zombie Vampire German Mercana...

Kraken: Hello! I'm kinda bored and surgar high, so heres the next chapter!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: No, it isn't, it's half a chapter  
  
Kraken: Anyway, I don't own Super Smash Brothers, Lord of the Rings, Kingdon Hearts, Iron Chef, or any other licensed product that happens to pop up in this story. . . thing. . .  
  
$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$  
  
(Everyone is camped out outside a large warehouse, where they are constructing a spaceship, when suddenly)  
  
Roy: Ahhhhh! I'm being attacked by Evil Ghost Zombie Zampire Hessians!!  
  
Aragorn: What!?  
  
Mary: And wouldn't you mean vampeirs?  
  
Gimli: Vampiers? Mary!? What happened to Marth?  
  
Legolas: I think the autor is having typing problems  
  
Aragorn: Autor?  
  
Legolas: See what I mean? Let's try that again  
  
$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$  
  
(Everyone is camped outside a large warehouse, where they are constructing a spaceship, when suddenly)  
  
Roy: Ahhhhh! I'm being attacked by Evil Ghost Zombie Vampire Hessians!!!  
  
Aragorn: What!?  
  
Roy: Ehehehe. . .Just a nightmare!  
  
Marth: Great. . .How can a German mercenary at the time of the Revolutionary war be a ghost, zombie and a vampire all at once?  
  
Legolas: Yeah, 'cause ghosts are dead, zombies are undead, and vampires are immortal  
  
Gimli: And elves are just dumb!  
  
Legolas: Hey! Not nice! Very not nice!  
  
Roy: Uh. . .My mind makes up strange things?  
  
Marth: Like Evil Ghost Zombie Vampire Hessians?  
  
(Suddenly, from out of the shadows, appear a group of dark figures)  
  
All: Ahhhhhh! Evil Ghost Zombie Vampire Hessians!!  
  
Gimli: Wait, it's merely annoyed residents of the surrounding area  
  
Aragorn: Hummm. . .Must be annoyed about that large explosion that happened around three 0'clock am last night  
  
Roy: They have pitchforks . . .And torches . . . And politicians, lawyer and patent officials! Run!!  
  
(They run into the warehouse, and board the spaceship)  
  
Marth: We have to lift off! We can't stay here!  
  
(They lift off, crash through the roof, and are off! Headed in the direction of Europa!)  
  
Roy:* Sigh of relief * We made it!  
  
(Suddenly Gummi Ship music starts playing [A/n: I gotta stop playing Kingdom Hearts])  
  
All: Ahhhhh! Gummi Ship music of annoyingness and death! Run!  
  
(Unfortunately there is nowhere to run in the ship, so they all crash into each other and run around in circles like headless chickens. Then, to the relief of all the music stops, and is replaced with Linkin Park.)  
  
Legolas: I just realized something  
  
Gimli: What?  
  
Legolas: The president of the United States in a politician, right?  
  
Gimli: Yeah  
  
Legolas: And we established that calendar is the president of the United States  
  
Gimli: Yeah  
  
Legolas: Which means that calendars are politicians, so time has no meaning and it's all a big scheme to get us in a pointless war!  
  
All: Ahhhhhhhh!!! * Faint *  
  
Mini Midget Riku: You're not ending this chapter already, are you?  
  
Kraken: No. . .I'm just doing an intermission!  
  
(Intermission music from It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World plays)  
  
Mini Midget Riku: That was utterly pointless. . .   
  
Link: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! * Lands * Ow. . .  
  
Link: It's cold here  
  
Link: Why am I talking to myself?  
  
Link: I don't know  
  
Link: Oh Well. . .There's no one else to talk to, I'm alone on some moon in the middle of space  
  
Link: It could be worse you know  
  
Link: How so?  
  
Link: You could be on Io, the volcanic moon  
  
Link: That'd be torture  
  
Link: Or you could be facing Bowser, Gannodorf, D. K. Mewtwo and Mr. Game and Watch of the Annoying beeping all at once  
  
Link: That'd also be torture  
  
Link: How 'bout I go find some civilization  
  
Link: That'd be nice  
  
(Link walks for a little while. Suddenly, he finds civilization! It's the almost entire cast of Kingdom Hearts, some Pikmin, and some of the Looney Toons! The Kingdom Hearts peoples and the Looney Toons peoples are eating the Pikmin, roast.)  
  
Link: Hiya! Can I eat some of your food?  
  
Bugs Bunny: No!  
  
Daffy Duck: Yes!  
  
Porky Pig: As long as you don't eat me!  
  
Elmer Fudd: Shut up, I'm hunting rabbits  
  
Donald Duck: No!  
  
Goofy: Yup!  
  
Sora: No! My precious!  
  
Riku: Eh. . .Whatever  
  
Kairi: Sure  
  
Ansem: Embrace the DARKNESS!!!!!  
  
(Link scampers away like a little squirrel that just realized it's insignificance in the world)  
  
Link: I'm all aloooonee! Thereeees nooo oooonee hhhheeeerrrreeee!!!!  
  
Link: And I'm talking to myself again  
  
Link: Great, I think I've gone mad  
  
Link: HHEEELLLPP!!!  
  
******************************* Meanwhile, in the Gummi ship. . .er Arwing. . .er whatever you want to call it  
  
Roy: Hello  
  
Gimli: We're alive!!!!  
  
Aragorn: We are?  
  
Marth: Apparently so  
  
Legolas: I'M ALIVE!!  
  
Marth: We already established that.  
  
Legolas: Oh. . .  
  
Gimli: I'm cold. . .  
  
Roy (Singing): Can you feel the cold tonight? It sets in but it's alright. Darkness falls I'm letting go. All alone but I feel fine. . .  
  
All: Shut up!!!  
  
(All sit in silence)  
  
(All continue to sit in silence)  
  
(It is very silent)  
  
(They all sit)  
  
Legolas: In the town were I was born lived a man who sailed to sea. . .  
  
Marth: Help! I'm drowning!!  
  
Gimli: I'm the little mermaid!!  
  
Aragorn: I'm a catfish!!!  
  
Roy: I'm in to deep and I'm tryin' to keep up above in my head instead of goin' under. . .  
  
Legolas: Shut up!!!!  
  
Marth: I'm running in circles. . .  
  
Gimli: I'm opening a door  
  
Roy: I'm bowling for soup!!!  
  
All: ????  
  
Roy: *Snickers*  
  
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) Link: I feel very cold tonight. Darkness is falling. I'm all alone. I don't care!!!!  
  
(Suddenly, a massive Kitchen Stadium pops out of no where, and link is sucked into a game of Iron Chef, the game in which people see how many things they can make out of raw fish!)  
  
Link: Suddenly I feel very scared. . .  
  
%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^  
  
Kraken: Ahhhhh! Lews Therin is taking over my head!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: TBC. . .  
  
Lews Therin: I WILL KILL ALLL!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
And so, the author got to lazy to type anymore, so the story ended. Stay tune for part 2, or "part II" in which they name the ship, and Link eats raw fish. 


End file.
